Recognise and Respond to CPA

Recognising the signs of Child to Parent Abuse can be difficult, but we hope as more professionals undertake training – and as it becomes more openly discussed – that this becomes easier for the services who are having contact with families impacted by CPA.

There may be some signs which concern you, in which case we urge you to consider whether the family might be experiencing CPA:

  • Does the child display abusive, coercive or threatening behaviour towards their parents, carers, guardians or siblings?
  • Is the parent reluctant to talk about their child’s behaviour in the home?
  • Does the parent ask to talk to you away from their child, or ask you not to tell them they have spoken with you?
  • Has the parent sustained an injury and is reluctant to say what happened?
  • Are there concerns around child sexual exploitation or child criminal exploitation?

The response needed will naturally differ from family to family, and depending on the capacity in which you have contact with them. But there are a few ways in which we advise all professionals to react when CPA is suspected or identified:

Listen to the parent

It may be the first time they have spoken about the situation to anyone outside of their immediate family, and there will be lots of emotions happening for them - ranging from worry about how you will respond, to relief that they have finally been able to speak out.


Do not judge or blame

The majority of our parents tell us they've felt blamed, guilty or humiliated. A supportive response when they open up to a professional is crucial.


Be mindful of the language you use

Please avoid any language which casts doubt on the seriousness of the situation, or implies they’re not telling you an accurate version of events.


Do not tell the child or young person what has been said

If the child realises their parent has disclosed the abuse to you, this could escalate the situation at home.

Tell them you believe them

The single most affirming phrase you can tell a parent disclosing CPA is ‘I believe you’.


Ask them what they want to happen

Parents may be worried about their child being taken away or receiving a criminal punishment for their actions. Despite the abuse, they will still have a bond with their child. So, it’s important to ask them how they’d like you to proceed rather than assuming.


Ask them how they feel

And also how the behaviours impact on the family’s home life, CPA is likely to impact everyone living within the home, not just the parent it’s directed towards.


Find out what they've already tried

Most parents will have tried a variety of techniques to minimise CPA incidents before turning to professionals - asking what's worked and not worked for them can be helpful in determining what else you could suggest or offer them.

CPA is not a parenting issue. By the time a parent has reached out for support, it’s likely they will have been experiencing this behaviour for a long period of time.


Parents are the experts in their situation, they can identify risk and safety as they have been (sometimes without realising) doing this as part of their daily routines. Parents will hold the answers, so listening to what they have to say can help you support them going forward.

We're here to work alongside professionals in order to fully support parents, carers and guardians. Please note, we don't work directly with the child displaying CPA behaviours but do have a network of partner organisations who do.

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